| Why do parents complain, whether you are introvert or not ?

Why do parents complain, whether you are introvert or not ?

\/eemon asked the question:

My parents complain to my older brother that he drinks and goes out too much, yet they turn back and complain to me, because I don’t go out enough.

I have been drawing since I was 4, I picked up guitar at 7, as a child I spent hours building things out of lego ; now the lego has been replaced by more “professional” tools ,and I sometimes build figurines….. all of these hobbies can be persued in solitude, and I get more enjoyment out of these hobbies than I do from any party !

Why can’t they understand this !

My parents have always encouraged me to recreate as well as work..yet they seem to think that because my recreation mostly solitary… they think it doesn’t count and would rather I go out and ” do what young people do.”
Truth is.. I am not a shy person I have friends at college, I have a girlfriend.. I debate issues with professors when I feel the need too. and I feel at ease giving a speech. I just don’t like partying.

Its semester break for Christmas, and since my girlfriend and I live far apart..we’re keep in touch by phone. Since I have some free time, i’m working on another sculpture. Although my mother is making it frstrating by her frequent complaining.

But isn’t recreation supposed to be fun ? Why should I have to go out partying if I don’t find it fun.

I find much more fulfilment in seeing a drawing to completion, learning a new song on guitar.. or seeing a character take shape as I am building it……. than I have EVER gotten at a party.

Parties bore me. I’d rather sit with a few friends for a drink than go clubbing.

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7 Responses to “Why do parents complain, whether you are introvert or not ?”

  1. Diva on January 6th, 2009 11:57 pm

    they are parents enough said……

  2. igballus2 on January 9th, 2009 4:52 pm

    because we are so afraid to fail on raising happy well adjusted children that we are sometimes unable to just sit back and let them be themselves. thank you for opening my eyes!!!!

  3. Uncle Rob on January 12th, 2009 1:59 pm

    I feel the same way about parties i dont want to have to yell to carry on a conversation. But there is a limit to being by yourself. Everybody needs to go out and talk to people and to get some fresh air. Parents worry all the time about there children and weather or not they are ok. It is the price they pay for being parents and the price you have to pay because you are there child.

  4. Flossytops on January 15th, 2009 6:44 pm

    Many things in life are a question of balance, so I can only guess that your parents are hoping to encourage you to balance your solitude with recreation that involves others. That doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily right, because what works for one person doesn’t for another but they’re just trying to do what they think is right for /you/. I think probably that the best thing you can do is to sit down with your parents and talk to them about this - making sure that they are aware of all the activities you mentioned in your question that you do do with other people, and that that’s the way you are happy with your life. Hopefully as parents who love you they will realise that over everything else your happiness is what matters first and perhaps will let it go at that. It perhaps wouldn’t harm though to show them a bit of a compromise too, and whilst you’re home in the holidays make an effort just a little bit to keep them happy too? It’s not for long, then you can go back to your preferred habits. Happy holidays!

  5. Lori F on January 18th, 2009 9:43 pm

    Stick with what you’re doing. It’s smart and creative. Why go out and party?? What does it accomplish.

  6. Dina Rae on January 20th, 2009 2:45 am

    I’ll be quite honest. They want whats best for you. Maybe your parents were social butterflies so they probably can’t see why you would enjoy anything by yourself. Its a really common mistake that parents make. They try to assume that not only are you them by DNA but also in personality. They just don’t want you to be alone. Or maybe they don’t like your girlfriend and would like for you to find someone your madly crazy about and can’t stand to be away from.

    They also could be worried about you. It’s not only them that might think that being alone is ok. Our society puts really scary ideas in our heads about introverts. Like what a lot of withdrawn people have deep psychological problems. I guess they just want to make sure you are ok. Just let them know that you are ok and maybe they will back off you some.

  7. Stormy S on January 21st, 2009 3:49 pm

    Actually your question should be “why do MY parents complain, whether you are introvert or not ?” Because not all parents do so. You might also think about asking YOUR parents why they do what they do because only THEY know the answer.