| I wrote this essay for Buffalo StateCollege would you except me ?

I wrote this essay for Buffalo StateCollege would you except me ?

Curious asked the question:


My Gpa is 1.75 ( C+ ) student, and i havent sent in my SAT scores yet but i have GREAT recommendation letters from 3 teachers and i sent them this essay do you think they would still except me ?

Buffalo State Here I Come!

Art. Art has so many different means to it. Dancing, Singing, Drawing, Acting, Photography. Art is man made and anyone can produce it, but can anyone determine the true means of art? Growing up I expressed my self in so many different ways. Through ages 6-10 i began to draw and i loved it, but as i got older other things got in the way if me drawing. School began to take up so much time and i was always busy. From ages 11-14 i began to go to plays and broadway shows. I loved acting the fact that you can be someone you know you would never be for a moment in time, but plays became exspensive now age 17 i express my self through my apparel. Last year for christmas i recieved a sewing machine and haven’t put it down since. I love making clothing you’ll never see anyone have and being unique. Therefor this is why Buffalo State College would be a great way for me to experience and persue my career in the fashion industry while doing other things i love aswell.
You safe and beautiful campus would be a place I’d like to call home for four years of my life. The bicycle police patrol will keep me feeling safe and your sculptures on campus would be great eye candy. Rockwell hall will keep me entertained with the music and Art conservation. Cambell Student union will be a good place for me to furthur my literature knowledge and buy books at Barne’s Noble. Moot Hall will keep me finacially organised wich is a major for someone like me. Also plays at Upton hall would be great for me as well, I even plan on joining the Theater Production Program. I’m really interested to see that your school has performed The Sophicles of Oedipus: The Antigone story, which i have recently read and performed parts of as well.
The main reason for me attending Buffalo State would be for your student Fashion Assosiation. It can help me gain knowlege about fashion and textiles that are nessary. And the Regional and National Compitions within the Fashion Industry are an amazing way for me to show how i have the necessaties to bring up one step closer to victory. Also Internships that are offered will help me to obtain my goal to get a great job and persue a career with a major apparel or textile company.
Although throughout the years i have suffered academically, the arts stayed alive. I have changed as a student and also as a person, and learned that if you really want something you must work hard for it. I know i would be a great student a buffalo state and possible stand out. I’m easy going and friendly and very charitable, getting accepted to one of my top choice colleges would be a great contribute to my mortification as a student and I can’t wait to wear my Buffalo State sweatshirt with a smile.
Accept me**

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Comments

One Response to “I wrote this essay for Buffalo StateCollege would you except me ?”

  1. Ana on January 5th, 2009 9:59 pm

    I see some grammar mistakes, such as no period and no capitalization of the first word in a sentence. “I” is also capitalized! :) I wouldn’t say art is “man-made”. Try to think of a better word than that. I would refrain from using apostrophe’s like when you say “I’m” I would say “I am”. It seems more…I don’t know. =)

    wich - which
    therefor - therefore
    necessaties - necessities
    exspensive - expensive
    recieved - received
    persue - pursue
    nessary - necessary

    “Art has so many different means to it.”
    Don’t you mean “Art has so many different meanings.”

    But I think you probably wrote it on paper and just typed it fast, I think it’s great! Good luck.